Therapy Thursday – The 5 Love Languages

Written by on February 9, 2023

How do YOU feel loved in your relationship? How do you express love to a partner, family member, friend, etc.? The five love languages are five different ways love can be expressed and received.

Not everyone communicates love in the same way, and likewise, people have different ways they prefer to receive love. Wondering what your love language is? Or maybe what your someone else’s is? Start to pay attention to the things that make you feel the most warm and loved inside, even going back to growing up. We also will sometimes express love the way we like to receive it. From a personal standpoint, my mom was always so thoughtful in the gifts she gave me. I’ve also been given gifts where I am like… there was no thought put into this, which doesn’t make me feel very loved. Communicating what makes you feel most loved and appreciated is very important in maintaining a healthy and happy relationship.

Here are the five love languages and a song to represent each one:

While some might THINK that the love languages of gifts means materialism, that’s not it. It’s not about extravagant gifts and spending all your money on somebody. It’s more about the thoughtfulness behind the action. There’s a though fullness that goes into a present giving. This can be as simple as a candy bar you know they like.

Song: “Buy U a Drank” by T-Pain (it’s hard to find a song to describe this love language, mostly just the lyric “I’ma buy you a drink” LOL…)

Acts of Service
You demonstrate your affection with thoughtful gestures, such as cooking a meal, cleaning the house, or filling the car with gas. When others do the same for you, you feel loved.

Song: “Cater 2 U” by Destiny’s Child

Words of Affirmation
Love your curves and all your edge… all your perfect imperfections. You most appreciate giving and receiving love through kind words, including compliments, praise, cheerleading, and other verbal expressions of support or admiration. For you, words speak louder than actions.

Song: “Why I Love You So Much” by Monica

Quality Time
You feel most loved while spending meaningful, focused time with your partner. This may mean sharing a meal, taking a staycation, or learning a new skill together like painting, pottery, or dancing.

Song: “Quality Time” by Hi-Five

Physical Touch
You prefer to bond through physical contact. Think hugging, kissing, holding hands, cuddling, and having sex.

Song: “Touch My Body” by Mariah Carey

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